Session 10 — Mystery 5, Part 1

What Happened

As the story resumes, the team discovered the secret ingredient in H.G. Farmswatter's miracle tonic came courtesy of some sentient cacti. The perambulating plants were a huge source of interest to the gang as they emitted a very familiar red powdery mist, last seen in Bart Fletchley's fields. Before H.G. could share where he found the fearsome flora, Farmswatter was swatted, taken down by some flying spines from a dying cactus. Ouch. If the team wants to interrogate this lead further, Cuthbert's going to have to raise the dead…

Cold Open — Something in the Walls

A young grimy man tries to sleep in a shack. He hears scratching and clicking. He opens his eyes. The noise stops. He closes his eyes. The scratching and clicking resumes.

The noise may be coming from within the walls.

The man looks under his bed. He looks into a small four millimetre hole in the dirt floor. He lights a match — and a thousand pairs of antennae retreat…

ROLL CREDITS.

Five Days of Downtime

Following the shenanigans at the weekly Friday market, the party spent five days of downtime to heal and / or work on tasks and leads.

Cuthbert — Raising the Dead, and the Richie Problem

Cuthbert investigated whether he would be able to question the dead H.G. Farmswatter. To commune with Farmswatter's soul, Cuthbert would have to travel to a different plane. Alternatively, he could summon H.G.'s memories to briefly reanimate him so that they could have a conversation.

Cuthbert also investigated whether he could magically affect Richie Durgin's balls. He discovered that he could induce a lack of want and desire to have a child — he could affect Richie psychically instead of physically. He created a powder to magically remove Richie's desire to have children.

Cuthbert teleported to Richie's bedroom in the middle of the night. He blew the powder in the boy's face. Richie sneezed. Richie woke up. Richie yelled to his family that Cuthbert was in his room. Cuthbert teleported back to his tent.

Cuthbert has successfully stopped Richie Durgin from wanting to have children. He informed the Order and they sent a congratulatory message.

Ms March — Moonshine, Bandanas, and Dan Randy

Ms March set up a moonshine still, as alcohol appears to counteract the effects of the spores and cacti. This will ensure the team has a permanent supply of booze. Dan Randy assisted with this effort.

Dan Randy was upset, as he could see that Ms March was pushing herself too hard and was not looking after herself. Dan told June that he did not want to see her work herself into the ground.

MS MARCH: So stop looking.
DAN RANDY (sadly): Okay.

Ms March also tested and gathered protective face coverings / bandanas as a secondary precaution against the spores. She was assisted in this effort by the parents of her schoolkids — who helped in exchange for Ms March agreeing to look after their kids for longer and more often. The parents want more childfree time.

Ms March taught the schoolchildren to brew moonshine. She only extolled its benefits as a disinfectant. She did not tell them that it is a drink.

Doctor Webb — Bottles, Bloodwork, and a Standing Invitation

Doctor Webb gathered all remaining bottles of Farmswatter's miracle cure from around town and monitored anyone who had sampled it. The patients in the most advanced stage of the condition — where cacti spines appear under their skin — must flush their system: they rehydrate by keeping to a water-only diet for three days.

Doctor Webb examined the remains of the cacti under a microscope. He saw red cells in the cactus flesh and juice latch onto, and manipulate, other cells. This behaviour appears extraterrestrial in nature.

Maude encouraged Doctor Webb to visit the family farm any time that he needs a break. Doctor Webb acknowledged that he does need a break, but does not know when he will have the time to go.

Alfie — The Music He Cannot Find

Alfie recommitted to playing the piano. He became obsessed with recreating the magical music he heard in his head which healed him.

Dan Randy was concerned that Alfie was working too hard, and suggested that he play some different tunes. Dan Randy does not sing. Alfie experimented with playing tunes to the rhythm of Dan declaring 'I do not sing'.

Dan Randy is concerned about all four members of the team.

The Sheriff Question

In a discussion about whether the party wants Hole to hire a human sheriff or to keep Mr Wrigglesworth, someone suggested that all four of them jointly share the role with the goat. Doctor Webb stated that he is too busy to work as sheriff. The idea was dismissed.

Mr Wrigglesworth remains in office for now. A human successor has not been found.

A Sword at the Throat

On Thursday morning, six days after the very eventful market day, Cuthbert was woken in his tent by someone pointing a sword at his throat.

The person wielding the sword wore a smooth featureless solid gold mask — the mask worn by wardens from the Order. The warden spoke. They also have a chipper Australian accent.

Cuthbert recognised the voice but could not remember the person's name. They were a peer who trained at the Order at the same time Cuthbert did. The warden is Jacob Johnston, and he has been instructed to bring Cuthbert back to his original time. Jacob is unaware of whether "the balls things" is the reason Cuthbert was sent to Hole.

Cuthbert is keen to return to his original time, but is also invested in investigating further mysteries in Hole. It is hard to breathe in the warden masks, so Jacob unmasked. It is stressful to be a warden — a lot of responsibility, and they are not given much information.

Cuthbert does not think that the Order wants to see 'dogs with a buncha knees' or 'cacti with vaginas on them'.

Cuthbert reasoned that Jacob's mission is to bring Cuthbert back eventually. That time does not have to be now. Cuthbert wants to show Jacob toilets and guns.

The Team from 1983

Jacob and Cuthbert experienced a feeling of electricity in the air. Three more people appeared in the tent.

DARLA: Cuthbert Lockton-Lloyd, we are your team.

• Darla Backsplash is the trio's leader. She has her hair pulled up and teased into ringlets. She wears blue eyeshadow, has pink cheeks, and wears a strange scent which is unfamiliar to Cuthbert.
• Gina Caramonte is smaller and stockier than Darla. She is from New York. She chews Dubble Bubble chewing gum.
• Walker Bueller is a quiet gent in a big ten galleon hat, clean boots, and shiny gold spurs. He is from Texas.

This trio has been sent from 1983. They cannot tell Cuthbert any further information, as doing so could upset the space-time continuum. Darla chided Gina for bringing chewing gum to the 1880s. (Cuthbert, for his part, was not given period-appropriate clothing by the Order before being sent to Hole.)

Cuthbert believes it is serendipitous that four additional members of the Order have arrived — he requires multiple people to help him talk to a dead man. The trio will follow Cuthbert's orders. However, Jacob outranks Cuthbert; Jacob stated that Cuthbert's official order from the Order is for Cuthbert to give orders to himself and the trio.

The five of them did the Order's secret handshake. From outside the tent, you can hear a lot of loud palm slapping.

Breakfast at the Randy Saloon

Ms March had taken Dan Randy's advice to relax. She was refreshed from a soak in the hot springs. She was definitely not in the mood for any surprises today.

Doctor Webb, having completed his morning rounds, visited Alfie at the saloon to check that Alfie was healing up. Alfie was still attempting to find the music that healed him during the cacti fight — he wants to deliberately use the magic he has previously been doing accidentally.

Cuthbert brought his colleagues to the saloon. They were all very loud. All three of the trio from 1983 claim to be from Lubbock, Texas.

Cuthbert objected when Doctor Webb revealed that they know Cuthbert is from one hundred years ago — but then was equally indiscreet by mentioning that Alfie is afflicted by a curse.

Ms March did the Grampa Entering And Immediately Exiting meme from The Simpsons when she saw / heard multiple Aussies in the saloon. She quietly reentered, grabbed some pancakes without acknowledging any of the newcomers, and sat apart from the others. Ms March wants Dan Randy to notice that she is looking after herself.

Cuthbert has previously filed no paperwork during his mission. An enamoured Gina volunteered to do all of his paperwork for him.

Cuthbert admitted to the team that he 'knows I'm a lot'. Ms March, hearing this, choked on her pancakes.

Cuthbert outlined his plan: he aims to temporarily resurrect H.G. Farmswatter so they can ask the dead man questions about where he found the cacti. Doctor Webb was horrified that Cuthbert had not done anything to preserve Farmswatter's body for the past six days; he was on board for the resurrection plan, but wished Cuthbert had consulted him sooner about how to keep the body fresh(er).

Then Cuthbert revealed his second proposal: bring Earl back to life.

Ms March punched Cuthbert in the face. Cuthbert's team leapt into action to defend their man. Doctor Webb calmed everyone with his soothing bedside manner.

Alfie claimed that he is not saying 'curse' and is instead saying 'kartoffel' ('potato' in German).

Cuthbert needs each of the party's respective skills for the ritual to resurrect Farmswatter: Alfie for his magic, Doctor Webb for his medical knowledge, and Ms March to help dispose of the body afterwards.

How Are You Really Doing?

Ms March hung back after the teams left the saloon so she could talk to Dan Randy. Dan was frantically working in the kitchen, as he had heard the many new voices in the saloon and presumed there was a morning rush on breakfast.

Ms March told Dan Randy not to put any coffee on for her, as she slept well and has eaten from the pancake buffet.

DAN RANDY: This may be presumptive to ask, but how are you really doing?

Ms March is currently struggling to discern between what is real and what is not real. This includes how she really feels.

Ms March showed Dan that she will come by later by emptying her flask onto the floor. She will need to return to the saloon for a refill.

The Resurrection of H.G. Farmswatter

The teams went to Farmswatter's waggon, which Cuthbert had parked somewhere in town. They opened the doors and were hit by the smell of a body and a tubful of viscera which had been cooking in the desert heat for six days.

Cuthbert asked the 1983 contingent whether there is still racism in their time. They confirmed this. Bueller, a white guy from Texas, actually has a lot of thoughts on this subject, but thankfully he did not get the opportunity to share these.

Ms March found it incredibly satisfying to see that, for once, Cuthbert is the person tasked with wrangling a team of idiots.

Alfie, Cuthbert, and Jacob cast the spell, assisted by the 1983 contingency and Doctor Webb. Most of the team vomited during their efforts as a result of the overwhelming smell in the waggon. The ritual chanting took a few minutes — it was a struggle to endure the smell for this long.

Light heated Farmswatter's melting body. His eyes had already melted. H.G.'s chest rose. His head raised. H.G. Farmswatter's body was reanimated. Jacob vomited now that the spell was completed. Ms March watched the ritual but did not participate.

H.G. Farmswatter talked as fast as he did when alive.

Farmswatter provided a detailed explanation of where he found the cacti: they were in a grove on a ledge on a mountainside. Farmswatter pointed out the location on a map. The cactus grove is near the mining village. The hot springs are on the other side of the mine.

H.G. Farmswatter heard a strange noise when he was at the grove. It had a pull, a pulse. It was a hum. Farmswatter demonstrated the hum — and Doctor Webb recognised this as the sound from his nightmares and started sweating.

H.G. Farmswatter first tasted the tonic at the grove. He tested it on himself and felt better, so he experimented further.

H.G. FARMSWATTER: I got freaky with the cactus.

There was no one else in the grove when H.G. was there.

The team poured some of the vat viscera on H.G.'s reanimated corpse to see whether this made him feel better. It dripped through him.

H.G. dug up bodies from a cemetery to feed the mother cactus. Having done research on carnivorous plants, H.G. had unsuccessfully attempted to feed insects to the cactus; he then guessed that the cactus wanted flesh. The cactus grew stronger when Farmswatter fed it human meat.

Are the baby cacti H.G.'s children?

The magic ended and H.G. Farmswatter was dead once more.

Doctor Webb told Cuthbert that the tone H.G. hummed was the same humming from his (Webb's) nightmares.

Playing God

Cuthbert ordered the Order members to clear out the waggon so it could be used to transport everyone to the cactus grove; he assisted with this effort. The horses from the high noon shootout will be used to drive the waggon. Cuthbert wanted to teach the Hole team how to do the Order's secret handshake. This did not happen. Ms March left to get coffee and food for the journey.

Doctor Webb asked Cuthbert about his plan to resurrect Earl — an idea that he obviously did not share with Ms March beforehand. Doctor Webb suggested that, if Ms March is working on her grief — is in the process of grieving — it may be unfair to "fix" the matter by bringing Earl back.

Cuthbert's view is that the Order has the ability to change time, so why wouldn't you use that power to raise the dead? Doctor Webb and Alfie questioned whether the Order should be able to play God and make decisions about events unrelated to saving the world.

Jacob clocked Doctor Webb as someone who asks tricky questions. Jacob also accidentally hinted that the Order are not in agreement on what to do with Cuthbert. Jacob believes it is best not to question orders.

Dan Randy has invented pizzellis, the cookie which looks like doilies.

The Road North

The waggon ride to the mining village, grove, and springs takes half a day; the teams would therefore arrive there late afternoon.

Doctor Webb asked why Cuthbert noticeably sped up the waggon as they passed the Durgin residence. Cuthbert did not tell him the real reason why.

The waggon passed, on the left side of the road, a green oasis. A huge manor house had been built among green grass and trees. The house has its own road. A sign outside reads 'Arminhanmer Mining Co'.

Doctor Webb and Ms March have heard of Righteous Arminhanmer but never met him. Arminhanmer is not a man of the people; he does not come into Hole often. Arminhanmer and his wife host parties at their house, and people come from other towns to attend.

The roads became steeper, but the waggon was able to get uphill and reach the mining village. The time was now 3:30 PM / 4 PM. It would take thirty minutes to travel from the mining village to the hot springs.

Sunday Morning at the Hot Springs

The team drove the waggon to the hot springs and set up camp there. They fed the horses. They decided to clean off in the hot springs.

The 1983 trio compared the hot springs to hot tubs. The Hole party did not understand what this referred to. Surely they do not want to lie in the tub previously used to hold the cactus and the blood?

As soon as Cuthbert was naked, weaponless, and in the springs, Ms March held Sunday Morning to his head.

CUTHBERT: What may I do for you, Ms March?

Ms March believes that Cuthbert is the cause of all of the supernatural happenings in Hole. Cuthbert swore that he did not bring whatever has come here.

MS MARCH: Are you straight from Hell?

Ms March feels that the resurrection she witnessed today was evil. Is Cuthbert demonic?

CUTHBERT: They [the Order] only put me somewhere something is wrong and I try to fix it.

Cuthbert failed to persuade Ms March that he is not to blame.

MS MARCH (to Alfie and Doctor Webb): Why do you believe him [Cuthbert]?

Alfie believes Cuthbert in part because of his own curse — bad things happened to Alfie prior to him being in Hole and meeting Cuthbert.

Ms March apologised to Alfie for not telling him sooner to ignore Doctor Webb (she does not believe his werewolf story) and Cuthbert — then fired her gun at the unarmed Cuthbert. Alfie tried to protect Cuthbert using Dire Circumstances, but Ms March was quicker and acted first.

Ms March shot Cuthbert and pushed his face under the water. Gina punched Ms March in the head. The rest of the Order operatives pulled Ms March from Cuthbert.

Alfie generated a tidal wave that swept everyone away from the spring. No one was hurt by this effort — Alfie's intention was to calm everyone down.

Doctor Webb answered Ms March's question. He did not use his Bedside Manner to do so, as he sensed that she is particularly wary of magic at this moment. Doctor Webb admitted that he does not necessarily understand or believe everything that Cuthbert says. However, he realises that the four of them are stronger as a team, and that working together is vital so they can solve problems and share knowledge while working towards their shared goal of ensuring people are safe and well.

(Brendan burned his third Luck point for Doctor Webb's Manipulate Someone roll.)

Somewhere Wet and Musty

Cuthbert grabbed Ms March and teleported away with her.

Cuthbert's intention was to take Ms March to Dan Randy's saloon. This is not where the pair appeared.

Cuthbert and Ms March reappeared somewhere wet and musty. There is darkness all around them. Are they in a cave?

ARE THEY IN THE MINES?

The Mystery

Clues Found

• The cacti came from a grove on a ledge on a mountainside, near the mining village — Farmswatter marked it on a map. The hot springs are on the other side of the mine
• Farmswatter heard a hum at the grove: "It had a pull, a pulse." When he demonstrated it, Doctor Webb recognised it as the hum from his recurring nightmare — the same hum reported deep in the mine
• Farmswatter first tasted the tonic at the grove itself, tested it on himself, felt better, and experimented from there. There was no one else in the grove when he was there
• Farmswatter dug up bodies from a cemetery to feed the mother cactus. He had researched carnivorous plants, tried insects (unsuccessfully), then guessed the cactus wanted flesh — it grew stronger on human meat
• Under the microscope, the red cells in the cactus flesh and juice latch onto and manipulate other cells. Doctor Webb reads this behaviour as extraterrestrial
• Tonic patients at the most advanced stage — cacti spines appearing under the skin — can be treated by flushing their system: a water-only diet for three days
• Alcohol counteracts the spores and the cacti, confirmed sufficiently for Ms March to build a permanent moonshine supply
• Cuthbert can reanimate a corpse from its own memories for a short conversation; reaching the actual soul would require travelling to a different plane. The ritual needs multiple casters
• Cuthbert can affect a person psychically rather than physically — he removed Richie Durgin's desire to have children with a powder
• Warden masks are solid gold, smooth and featureless, and hard to breathe in. Wardens are given very little information and carry a lot of responsibility
• The Order can insert operatives from other time periods — Darla, Gina and Walker were sent from 1983 and cannot share information without risking the space-time continuum
• The Order are not in agreement about what to do with Cuthbert (accidentally hinted by Jacob)
• Righteous Arminhanmer lives in a green oasis: a huge manor house with grass, trees, and its own road, signed 'Arminhanmer Mining Co', on the left of the road north. He and his wife host parties that draw people from other towns

Outcome

Ongoing — Mystery 5, Part 1. The grove is located and the party has travelled north as far as the hot springs beyond the mining village. The resurrection worked. Ms March shot Cuthbert in the springs, and the session ended with the two of them misteleported into darkness — possibly the mines.

Key Characters Met

Loose Threads

• ARE THEY IN THE MINES? Cuthbert tried to teleport Ms March to Dan Randy's saloon and landed the pair somewhere wet, musty and pitch dark instead. Where are they, and why did the teleport miss?
• Ms March shot Cuthbert — naked and unarmed in the springs — and held his face under the water. He was still shot when he teleported them both away. Where does the party stand now?
• The cold open: a young grimy man in a shack, scratching and clicking inside the walls, a four millimetre hole in the dirt floor, and a thousand pairs of antennae. Who is he and what is in the walls?
• The hum at the grove is the hum from Doctor Webb's nightmare. Farmswatter heard it on a mountainside ledge; Webb dreams it in a dark cave tunnel; it sounds deep in the mine. What is making it?
• Farmswatter fed the mother cactus corpses dug from a cemetery — which cemetery, and does anyone know the graves were robbed?
• The cactus grove is marked on a map and still unvisited — a ledge on a mountainside near the mining village. What else is up there?
• Jacob's mission: he is to return Cuthbert to his original time, and outranks him. Cuthbert is playing for time by arguing the deadline is "eventually." How long does that hold?
• The Order are not in agreement about what to do with Cuthbert — Jacob let this slip. What is the disagreement?
• Jacob does not know whether "the balls things" is the reason Cuthbert was sent to Hole — so what is Cuthbert's actual mission?
• Cuthbert still wants to resurrect Earl, and Ms March now knows. Doctor Webb and Alfie have both challenged whether the Order should play God on matters unrelated to saving the world
• Richie Durgin no longer wants children — magically. The Order sent congratulations. Is the Order's directive actually satisfied, and what did the powder do to a fifteen-year-old boy?
• The Durgins know Cuthbert teleported into Richie's bedroom at night and Richie yelled it to the whole family. Cuthbert sped the waggon up passing their homestead and would not say why
• Ms March cannot tell what is real — she told Dan Randy she is struggling to discern the real from the unreal, including how she really feels
• Ms March is wary of magic and read the resurrection as evil; she has apologised to Alfie for not telling him sooner to ignore Doctor Webb and Cuthbert
• Righteous Arminhanmer and his wife host parties at the manor that draw people from other towns — a way in?
• Alfie is still hunting the specific music that healed him; he wants to use his magic deliberately rather than accidentally
• The red cells in the cactus latch onto and manipulate other cells, which Webb reads as extraterrestrial — the same read he had on the red algae
• A human sheriff for Hole has still not been found; Mr Wrigglesworth remains in office
• Ms March is still concealing from the team that Earl's toe was missing
• Cuthbert's lost Order pinky ring is still in the vat of viscera — which has now been cleared out of the waggon

Moves & Highlights

• Alfie — spent downtime recommitted to the piano and obsessed with recreating the healing music, experimenting with tunes set to the rhythm of Dan Randy declaring 'I do not sing'; had his curse outed to the Order by Cuthbert and insisted he was saying 'kartoffel'; supplied the magic for the resurrection ritual; questioned with Doctor Webb whether the Order should play God; tried to shield Cuthbert with Dire Circumstances but was beaten to the draw by Ms March; generated a tidal wave that swept everyone off the springs to calm the fight, hurting no one; told Ms March he believes Cuthbert partly because of his own curse
• Cuthbert — worked out he could reanimate Farmswatter from his memories; magically removed Richie Durgin's desire for children with a powder blown in his face mid-teleport-raid, and got a congratulatory message from the Order; woken by a sword at his throat; recognised Jacob Johnston's voice but not his name; argued his recall is due "eventually", not now; acquired a team from 1983 and Gina to do his paperwork; admitted 'I know I'm a lot'; punched in the face by Ms March for proposing to resurrect Earl; led the ritual that reanimated H.G. Farmswatter; asked the 1983 contingent whether racism still exists; sped the waggon past the Durgins' without explaining why; shot by Ms March while naked and unarmed in the springs and held under the water; teleported her out — and missed
• Doctor Webb — collected every remaining tonic bottle and monitored the users, prescribing a three-day water-only flush for those with spines under the skin; found under the microscope that the cactus's red cells latch onto and manipulate other cells, reading it as extraterrestrial; declined Maude's offer of a break at the farm for lack of time; horrified that Farmswatter's body had gone six days unpreserved; calmed the saloon brawl with bedside manner; assisted the ritual; recognised the hum Farmswatter demonstrated as the hum from his nightmares and started sweating; challenged Cuthbert on resurrecting Earl while Ms March is still grieving; deliberately did not use Bedside Manner on Ms March at the springs, sensing her wariness of magic — and argued the four are stronger as a team (Brendan burned his third Luck point on the Manipulate Someone roll)
• Ms March — built a moonshine still with Dan Randy's help for a permanent booze supply, and tested and gathered protective bandanas with the schoolkids' parents (paid in extra childcare); taught the schoolchildren to brew moonshine as a disinfectant; told Dan to "stop looking"; took his advice anyway and soaked in the hot springs; did the Grampa Simpson meme on hearing multiple Aussies, then took pancakes and sat apart, wanting Dan to notice she is looking after herself; choked on those pancakes at 'I know I'm a lot'; punched Cuthbert over the Earl proposal; watched the ritual without participating and enjoyed watching Cuthbert wrangle idiots for once; admitted to Dan she can't tell what is real, and emptied her flask on his floor as a promise to return; held Sunday Morning to a naked Cuthbert's head, asked if he was straight from Hell, then shot him and pushed his face under the water; punched in the head by Gina; teleported into the dark with the man she just shot

XP & Advances

• XP gained:
• Advances taken:
• Luck: Doctor Webb burned his third Luck point (Brendan) for the Manipulate Someone roll at the springs

Notes

Memorable quotes:

MS MARCH: So stop looking.
DAN RANDY (sadly): Okay.
(Dan telling June he doesn't want to watch her work herself into the ground)

DARLA: Cuthbert Lockton-Lloyd, we are your team.

DAN RANDY: This may be presumptive to ask, but how are you really doing?

H.G. FARMSWATTER: I got freaky with the cactus.

CUTHBERT: What may I do for you, Ms March?
(naked, weaponless, with Sunday Morning against his head)

MS MARCH: Are you straight from Hell?

CUTHBERT: They [the Order] only put me somewhere something is wrong and I try to fix it.

MS MARCH (to Alfie and Doctor Webb): Why do you believe him [Cuthbert]?

CUTHBERT: I know I'm a lot.
(Ms March choked on her pancakes)

Other notes:

• Cuthbert does not think the Order wants to see 'dogs with a buncha knees' or 'cacti with vaginas on them'
• Alfie's cover story for the word 'curse' is 'kartoffel' — 'potato' in German
• All three of the 1983 trio claim to be from Lubbock, Texas (Gina is from New York; Walker is from Texas)
• Cuthbert was not given period-appropriate clothing by the Order before being sent to Hole
• Cuthbert has filed no paperwork for the entire mission
• The Order's secret handshake involves a lot of loud palm slapping, audible from outside a tent
• Dan Randy has invented pizzellis, the cookie which looks like doilies
• Dan Randy is concerned about all four members of the team
• Dan Randy does not sing
• The 1983 trio compared the hot springs to hot tubs; the Hole party did not know what that meant and assumed the worst (the cactus and blood tub)
• The teams travelled by Farmswatter's waggon, drawn by the horses from the high noon shootout; the trip north takes half a day, and it is a further thirty minutes from the mining village to the hot springs